Heidee blogs: Learnings

Last night I played badminton with some of my departmentmates. We went there after work, and it was fun, as badminton is wont to be. Robert, one of the guys who is a really good player, spiced it up when he made us laugh by trying to hit the shuttlecock with his racket upside down, then later by grabbing the handle with both hands and holding the racket out straight infront of his face. Rhea, who was on his side, complained that she didn't want to be his teammate next time because he was a bad player. Melai and I just laughed and yelled out loud each time we scored. After a hot shower, it was time to go home. I would've hit the gym after, but it was kind of late, so I just plunked down infront of the TV at home. But since PBB is over, there's nothing to look forward to anymore.

I was about to jump into bed when I came across an old photo of me. Seeing it made me feel somewhat depressed, because it was a photo of me in my College days. I was wearing a denim dress and striking a funny pose in our yearbook room. But what caught my eye most was that I was way thinner in this pic. Sigh! How I wish I could go back to my College weight! But during the past months I have grown bigger and bigger. Just then Neil TG texted asking me what's up. So I told him about "Bunny" texting again and me ignoring it as usual, and about my complaints about my weight. His advice? Southbeach diet. Apparently it worked for him. So I said I'll try it again. And I'm proud to say I have succesfully scrapped carbs off my diet today. What's weird is, I'm not hungry at all, even though it's late in the afternoon and I haven't eaten rice. Oh, I so hope I lose weight. Even though plenty of people have said I don't look good thin. Here I am at my thinnest. You be the judge.

Neil is actually a Godsend to me. Many times I've searched for textmates to while away my boredom when I'm not busy. But even though I have found some textmates in the past, in the end I would find something wrong with them and eventually lose interest in texting. But Neil is different. First of all our relationship is purely platonic, unlike previous texters who have some sort of romantic notions. And he isn't makulit; he doesn't go crazy when I don't text back immediately and assume that I'm mad at him and neither does he demand an answer to every text he sends. But he responds to my texts, no matter how much time had lapsed already. I can talk to him about my day and it's actually refreshing to talk to someone who doesn't know me too well, because his advice on certain topics are not biased. Eversince he became my textmate, I have stopped yearning to find a relationship. I suppose one of the reasons why I missed having a boyfriend is having someone to report my day to. Of course there are other things, but I can make do without them. This is why now I am a true believer that if you search for something, you won't find it. But if you're not looking anymore, it will find its way to you. That's why I'm grateful to PBBFG because it paved the way for me to meet Neil. That's why when I got evicted immediately, I said I didn't care, because I had already gotten from it exactly what I wanted to. I gained a friend, and to me, that is more than enough.

And yet here I am again being given a second chance. And in my second entry I found another friend. Though I have talked to everyone already unlike the first time around, my favorite VH would have to be Maristel. She and I have found so much in common. And just this afternoon we realized that in the first eviction, we had each voted out the other! Of course, no hard feelings there. We just laughed when we realized that. We hadn't talked to each other before, so there. Also, thanks to another VH, Marge, I discovered a site where I can upload MP3s and can embed them. I sure am learning a lot from my VHs. I hope there's more where that came from!