DAY NINETY-EIGHT
BigFour answer questions from co-BigFour and some ex-vhs

A D R I A N

From your co-Big Four>
Kathryn: Given the chance to quit nursing, would you? And if ever you would, what will be the path you'd pursue?
Adrian: Yes, I would take up that scholarship offered to me by the International Academy Of Film And Television to me. Big regret ko tlaga yun na di ko pinursue kasi yun talaga ang hilig ko eh. Masunuring bata ako to my parents. :-(
Maristel: What would be the greatest dream that you want to achieve right now?
A: To be a succesful music producer. I want to conquer! hehehe
Paolo: Do you have plans of living in Manila?
A: Maybe. But still, I'd rather live here in Cebu. I'm much more comfortable here.

From ex-vhs (first three ex-vhs to ask)>
Heidee: Papatol ka ba sa bading?
A: Hindi. Sorry.
Ian: Boxers or briefs? or thongs?
A: Boxers gamit ko ngayon. I haven't tried wearing thongs tho'
Jen-Jen: Whats your style in courting a girl?? And how can you say that you like or already inlove with her?? do you ask for a signs??
A: I make my feelings obvious. I actually can't explain how, as long as natatamaan ako. Signs? YES


KATHRYN

From your co-Big Four>
Adrian: Do you think I will become a successfulnurse if although i get good grades, I never reallyliked the course because it is so out of my interest?
Kathryn: it depends on how you define success. if one thinks that it's primarily about money and fame, then i'd say it's really possible for you to achieve that. but if one will think of it as having a healthy career path, "fulfilling", and if it is giving you a good and positive outlook in life, then i guess it's something that's not easily satisfied if in the first place you're heart is not 'that' into your present field. even those people who've chosen nursing to be their career path somethimes do feel "burned out", how much more those who wanted something else. but ofcourse, you should help yourself discover what's the reason why God has chosen you to pursue nursing. try to like what you're doing. because i think being HAPPY and INLOVE (with whatever it is that you're doing) is more important than just being SUCCESSFUL.
Maristel: What's the best thing you'll ever dofor a friend and why? Are you willing to do anythingfor your friend?
K: hmm... napaisip ako dun mats a... i really can't think of something now kaya i'll just tell you the best thing that I DID for a friend so far... sa tingin ko lang ha... funny story din s'ya.. my bestest friend had a crush before (college days) at super patay na patay s'ya dun. magkakilala sila pero nakipag-textmate s'ya at nagpanggap na ibang tao. they became close sa text tapos the guy finally asked her to meet him. pero sa sobrang takot ng friend ko na mabuking s'ya, she asked me kung pwede daw bang ako 'yung makipag-meet sa crush n'ya. e takot din ako kasi di talaga ako nakikipag-eyeball. pero since i know how desperate my bestfriend was, i said yes. grabe, super kaba ko nun kasi i had to remember important details sa mga palitan nila ng text messages. at sa mga usap nila sa phone! shet! yes, nag-uusap pa sila! o diba? pati boses ko kinailangan kong retokihin! 'yung bestfriend ko naman parang stalker na nakasunod sa amin nung guy, nagtatago kasi nga magkakilala naman talaga sila sa totoong buhay. baka maghinala pag nakita s'ya dun. haha! nairaos ko naman pero super kinabahan ako kasi baka mag-mention s'ya ng bagay na na-miss sabihin ng friend ko sa 'kin tapos matulala nalang ako! it was a funny experience talaga. at super thankful 'yung bessie ko kasi nakita n'ya 'yung crush n'ya. as in di maipaliwanag 'yung kilig n'ya. kaya happy na rin ako sa kalokohang 'yun! =)
Paolo: if Nursing is not existing what are you doing now?
K: what a good question. i think i'd be pursuing my dream of becoming a stage actress or a model or a newscaster or an international flight stewardess or a doctor instead. hehe. i really have lots of interests so even if florence nightingale didn't pioneer nursing, i've a good feeling i'd be happy with any of those fields that i have mentioned above. =)

From ex-vhs (first three ex-vhs to ask)>
Heidee: what's ur worst experience as a nurse?
K: so far, ang worst experience ko sa buong karera ko ay 'yung masabihan ako ng isang walang kwentang bantay (na binabayaran pero walang ginagawa para masulit 'yung binabayad sa kanya) na hindi daw ako nag-suction at nag-oral care sa alaga nilang pari na super weak na. sumama talaga loob ko when i got in the unit tapos 'yun ang binungad sa akin ng head nurse ko. masakit lang kasi i spent most of my time dun sa patient's room kasi super kinareer ko talaga 'yung patient na 'yun dahil dami nga nilang demands. tipong isang oras ako mahigit sa room nung pari dahil daming kailangang gawin na kung tutuusin sila na nung isang bantay ang gagawa kasi that's what the patient is paying them for. pero instead e mega-utos sila sa akin. katulong?! at super sinungaling. angganda pa kunwari ng pakikipag-usap sa akin ha, 'yun pala may sasabihin behind my back. palit nalang kaya kami. sila mag-nurse sa 6 toxic na patients, ako mag-alaga sa pari?! talagang i wanted to talk to that bantay pero pinigilan nalang ako ng head nurse namin. 'yun. naiyak talaga ako nun kasi dun ako talagang napagod nung gabi na 'yun tapos "di pa sapat" sa mga walang-kwentang bantay n'ya! nakakagigil!
Ian: Did u once feel that youre one of theleast housemates ever played this season?
K: yes, i've felt that a lot of times already.
Jen-Jen: If you're not belong to the big4.. who youthink or who you want to be in the big4? and why?
K: ikaw o kaya si rem. kasi i know active kayo sa game and that you two are playing it RIGHT. wala kayong masamang tangka sa co-vhs n'yo. at totoo kayo makisama.

M A R I S T E L

From your co-Big Four>
Adrian: What is the worst thing that a boyfriend ever did to you and what did you do about it?
Maristel: I've been through a lot of relationship. I know and I believe that there really are no perfect relationship... I've been through a lot of heartches... Painful moments that I know will happen anytime soon during the time that I was on the relationship. But from all the relationships that I've been through - I consider that the worst thing a boyfriend ever did to me was my very last relationship, with Jan de Luna... This happened April of last year (2005)... It was a whirlwind romance... It all started via Sun Cellular when it was the peak of call and text unlimited for a very cheap price. He's a friend of friends... A common friend I may say. I once checked my Friendster and saw a message from him posted at the bulletin board. I've know him for a long time. We've been introduced to each other everytime we bumped into each other at their Village, but we just take it as a common introduction everytime... Last April, naging kami. April 12 to be specific. May 15 he left for U.S. we've been constant textmates and chatmates (still) I took the risk of continuing and fighting for our relationship though I know long distance relationship rarely survives... But as time fly - I heard a lot of things about him, having an affair with a younger woman... And worst, di lang ako and yung girl na yun ang karelasyon niya... 4 kami... But still after hearing from him the truth, still I hang on. What hurts the most was, I send him loads so we can still text each other. Before he left I gave him something to remember me by... I gave him a Reebok jersey that I bought at Toby's Sports Plaza... I'm not into material things (really) akin naman kasi, I don't ask something in return. Yung suklian lang, okay lang. I remember he once told me na ha has something for me. You know what it was... It was his picture, a 2x2 picture. Kahit I hear from her other girls na merons exhanging of rings and necklaces and stuffs like that, okay lang sa akin... Lahat tinaggap ko. Although he asked me for marriage, sabi ko, no problem with me. Kahit alam ko na he was just playing with me - stii I hang on for months... When I tried to complete the puzzle and the questions that boggling my mind... There's just one answer to what he did... He used me to get back with my cousin... He has false accusations kasi... I know it hurts a lot but all I have to do is accept it, although I've learned to love him na... It's just hard, kasi what my Dad was doing all his life with women, sa akin lahat bumabalik... And I know how it feels to be fooled not just once but many times... MASAKIT...
Kathryn: Having a seemingly successful career, is there anything else you want to achieve in your field (e.g. business)?
M: I can't say that I have a successful carrer na (right at this moment)... But if there's one thing that I want to achieve right now is to have MY OWN and stable business. Yung ako ang Proprietor. I am not dreaming of a big company and having my own building at Makati. But just a mid-class business that will make my family - especially my DAD proud of me... A business that will have my trademark and will be my pride. A business enough to sustain my FAMILY's needs. And a business where I can save money and to have a house of my own. I've always dreamt of having my own house. I know right now, it's impossible - but with me to achieve it, I have to strive hard and I should have the perseverance... I do believe that I 'll have this someday, maybe even without my Dad's help - but I do believe that God's with me... He do always listen to my prayers and I know in His perfect time, I will achieve it. I just have to KEEP THE FAITH...
Paolo: What do you think of me as a co-housemate?
M: Now, this question made me smile. Pao, you as a co-housemate is such a pleasure on my part. You are very special to me... I know you're one of my closest in this game (not because you're a PAJEMAREMAnian) ... But YOU, as a virtual housemate sure knows how to make your co-vHousemates special... You're very much willing to do anything for us... You're such a sweet person and I will never ever regret knowing him in this game... He's a kid and a brother to me. And I will forever treasure you. I will keep you inside my heart for once in my life a kid named Paolo Miguel walked in my life and made it worth living and fighting for. I love you Pao...

From ex-vhs (first three ex-vhs to ask)>
Heidee: What do u miss most about having a boyfriend?
M: You got me here Heidz... I really am jaw dropped with your question! This question surprised me... What I miss most about having a boyfriend? Well, I guess it's the precious moments... I know there's a special time spent for our family, special time spent for friends... But there are certain things that not even your family and friends can provide but our boyfriend... In having a boyfriend, I have a family, I have a bestfriend, I have the glow and a different inspiration. I miss precious moments like sneaking out... Conversing over the phone till the sun comes up... Complimenting every little thing I do and definitely mean it... I miss the warm embraces and kisses that lasts forever... I miss the spark... I miss the petty quarrels, the fights, the argumentations, and most of all the "kiss and make-up" thing... It's very literal! After the fight, he'll hold me by the hand squeeze it - hug me as if I'm a stuffed toy, kissin' me on my forehead (sounds like I'm a Lola) and him looking at me straught in the eyes and utter the word "I'M SORRY" - and that way, I'm melting... I miss the kilig moments... The simple greetings (text greetings, phone greetings) on simple Monthsary and Anniversaries... The dating, the sneaking time (like him giving my hand a massage, givin' it a peck and simply take my hand under the table and hold it so tight that feels like he doesn't want to let go of me), the simple celebrations... I'm not talking about my last boyfriend... It's Zidane I'm talking about and I do miss everything about him...
Ian: When was your last bestfriend? Hehe
M: My last bestfriend? This question seems a little ambiguous... Well my last bestfriend? I have to think about this a couple of times... But to be honest with you and to everyone... I really don't believe in "bestfriends" - why? For some reasons that I myself can't understand my logic... Maybe because bestfriends always end up the best mortal enemies... But, I sure do have TRUE FRIENDS... Though people I consider my true friends are only few... Just to answer your question, though... My last best friend that ended up my mortal enemy was Judith. I guess, I have already frogotten her. We've been friends for a long time. I gave her my full TRUST and RESPECT as a friend but what she did in return was say negative thing behind my back. There were really a lot of guys who want to court her and when they learned and discovered from themselves her real color they end up befriending me. So instead of pursuing her, ako na lang ang gusto nila lagawan, but I did turn them down (honestly), coz I don't want to cause trouble and I don't want to ruin our friendship. But there's this one guy that I know who has been so good to her and gave her everything... If he could only give her the stars and the moon he would... He was so into her but he found out after a year that my friend only used her for material things... So he ended up telling me his problems and I became his shrink for months... By then, I didn't know that time healed all his wound and he was falling for me na pala... But I didn't give him a chance coz I know that down deep inside his heart it's still Judith that he really love... Although, I've loved him na din... Judith and I didn't fight over that guy... But what happened was, sinira niya ako sa guy... It was me who turned out to be the evil one... Till now, we doesn't talk... I never heard from her again and vice-versa... And now I know there's this silent war between us... I don't want to do something about it, coz I know somehow that all my life I've been good to her but she never was...
Jen-Jen: Hows ur relationship with your parents?? any problem with them?? what and why??
M: I have nothin' to hide... My life's an open book since the start of this game... My relationship with my family? Me and my Mom's in good term, we're best buds all my life though at times I know that there's a favoritism in our family. I do love my Mom, just a while ago I bought her his maintenance medication for her hypertension... My brother and I has always been more than brothers and sisters... We're barkada... We don't hide things from each other... When one of us has a problem and worries it's me he runs to and likewise... Right now my brother RJ is really facing a big problem with his daughter "Nice"... The other day, they went to Fe Del Mundo Hospital at Banawe and my niece's Pediatrician advised my brother and his wife Karen to take their daughter to a heart specialist and undergo 2D ECHO... Just yesterday, they brought Nice to the Hospital and underwent the 2D ECHO... The result was bad... Before pa kasi their Pedia noticed a murmur on the baby's heart... So yesterday, they found out that may dalawang butas ang puso niya. And the baby has to undergo a surgery before her 1st year burthday this September 15. The estimated amount for the operation is 375k... If they won't have their daughter get an operation, the doctor said that she might not reach grade school and lose life... Or if they'll have an operation, still there's no assurance but they know that baby will live a little longer... Nice has some features of Down Syndrome and most cases about it are either baradong puso or may butas. As for my Dad, just the other night I updated my blog and wrote something about my relationship with my Dad... Now, Jen you're making me cry... My Dad left us when I was only 5 years old... He's a womanizer at heart... Just recently there were words he said against me that really tore my heart into pieces... I felt like the world was against me... Sometimes, my Dad and I are okay, but you can count it by the fingers in your hands how many times that was... Mas lamang yung hindi kami magkasundo... I just don't know how to start now... I don't know why he's doing this to me? Why he's treating me this way? All my life I wished to give him the happiness he want... Kung saan siya masaya, I am more happier for him... Kung sino mamahalin niya, I will love and respect that person more... I just can't figure why at all times, di niya ako feel... Life is beautiful and most of the times difficult... This is what God gave me and I know in due time I'll surpass this. I know kahit sino kausapin ng Dad ko na intelihente or mapagmahal na magulang he will never have his mind enlightened up... I just have to accept this though it hurts big time...

P.S. Jen some of the reasons the what's and why's na sa huling blog ko... I can't help but cry now... I know that I have God - He's my listener, my confidante and all I have to do is HANG ON...

P A O L O

From your co-Big Four>
Adrian: Ok this is stupid but, are you still a virgin? If you are, why? if not, what's the kinkiest thing you ever did? hehehe (Come on,Kiss and Tell! Boys talk! hehehe)
Paolo: I am a virgin...kc i believe God's view that you should make love dun sa mahal mo and mahal ka din...unfortunately hindi pa ako nakikita ni Britney ;)
Kathryn : What's your greatest fear when it comes to your family?
P: ung magkahiwalay ung parents ko..which is now clearly going to happen...kung mangyari..i'll try to accept..kung hindi ok lng din...
Maristel: If ever you'll be the next PBBFG Big Winner, what will you do & please state your message for all you fellow & ex-VHs. ano gagawin ko?
P: of course i'll be loyal pa din sa PBBFG...gsto ko maging close sa season 3 VHs ehehe...and cyempre i'll stay the same paolo as before :) ung msg sa 100th day na ;)

From ex-vhs (first three ex-vhs to ask)>
Heidee: What's ur greatest fear and why?
P: same as ate idol's questions..ayoko ng broken family...that's one of my greatest fear...and kung kalokohan...takot ako sa kahit anong insect...lalo ipis HAHAHAHA!!!...ndi bagay sakin pero that's that wala ako magagawa...nandididri ako kc kung san san cla lakad ng lakad tpos bigla dadapo sau o lalapit...
Ian: Youre gay, arent you? Cus youre acting like one.
P: bakit ba lagi mo pinagpipilitan? type mo ba ako? cge na nga saung sau na ako papa ian... HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!
Jen-Jen: who's your closest among the VHousemates?? it can be an ex-VH or not... why her/him??
P: my closest hmmm...lahat ng co-vhs ko sobrang bait at sobrang ma-alaga saakin..except for one..hehe...i like all of my co-vhs...i am glad to meet them all...pero ang pinaka close ko si ate jenjen, ate mats, and ate idol....ate jenjen...cyempre cya ung bestfriend ko sa loob ng vHouse...she taught me how to be strong and she really is a good friend...minsan palpak daw ako but...i do i make some mistakes but kpag nagtama ako ok nmn ang kinalalabasan hehe...ate mats...hmmm...she is like the best VH here sa PBBFG2...very very active and never forgets to txt or msg sa YM...or offline msg to be specific...a great friend you can lean on...si ate kathryn...cyempre si ate idol...ang ate ko sa loob ng vHouse...the best to..kahit online lng naparamdam nya saakin ang magkaroon ng ate sa internet hehe...she is really a good person...(^-^)

DAY NINETY-SIX
Maristel blogs: A MUST READ: Just Can't Take it Anymore...

Yesterday was not the exact day I have been seeing in my mind for some time lately... I woke up early yesterday... Thinking of things to do... Like for our next outing at Pansol, Laguna (again?!?!)... So I was thinking of what I have to bring... But some bad news came... That my Dad was planning to bring 3 girls at the Villa. So we decided, not to push through that plan... I also heard that my Dad's dating a new lad, from Tarlac. And that he's planning to bring the lad @ Baguio this Friday... My heart's been aching and it's tearing me apart... I want to shout! I want to scream! I wanna get mad! I wanna CRY...

I feel so fed up! It's like all my life, what I'm doing is understand him... Love the women that came into his life... Respect them and love them more than what my dad can offer... I dunno, why there are men that's like that. I feel like I'm inside an empty box... That can't breathe...

Then yesterday while I was having my siesta with my Mom and Karen... My brother called me up on the phone... The conversation was like:
MATS: Hello!
RJ: Hello Mats, sandali...
then suddenly I have this feeling that he's not the one who wants to talk to me...
DAD: Ano? Dito ba kayo kakain?
MATS: Ako po hindi. Aalis po kasi ako...
DAD: Sila Doinx nasan?
MATS: Hindi ko po alam. Umalis sila kanina eh...
DAD: Siguro magtatagal sila noh?
MATS: Text nyo na lang po. Alam ko sa NBI and sa WPD lang sila pupunta...
DAD: O sige...

So that's it! What a conversation, right? I was just having this not-so-well feeling that I might be going there and end up doing nothing and worst... Hear words that will definitely break my heart... I wasn't wrong...

Around 12midnight, my brother arrived from Bacood... He has Kare-Kare that Mannique cooked for my Dad and the rest of the fellas at my Dad's place...

We prepared the dining table so we can have our late dinner... I sat in my usual dining chair, just clicking the plate... When my brother placed his clutch bag on the china cabinet and sat in his usual chair... He told me, "Napakadami ng sinabing masama ni Daddy tungkol sa'yo... Masama daw ang loob niya sa'yo... Kesyo sabi mo raw nung minsan, nakakumpirmiso na yung mga aso mo sa ibang tao... PARE-PAREHO lang naman daw ang KULAY NG PERA..."

I am totally clueless on what he said... All of a sudden there I was... My tears fallin'...

Masakit lang kasi, if there was this "kinumpirmiso" na sa ibang tao thing... That's just one puppy... Our friend Bong Aycocho has been expecting for a puppy since last year pa. Nakakahiya lang naman kung di ko pa din siya mapagbibigyan. Ganun din naman, kung ibebenta ko, same price pa din naman, mas mura pa nga ang benta ko sa dad ko... What hurts the most was, lahat daw ng puppies para na daw sa ibang tao ko na ibebenta... Tapos biglang siya daw ang last option ko... Hindi yun eh... Meron akong isang salita... I told him sa kanya ko lahat ibebenta... Kasalanan ko bang mahalin yung dalawang puppies na ngayon inaalagaan ko na... Katabi ko pa sa pagtulog... Pinadala ko na sa kanya the other night yung dalawang puppies pa na sobrang mahal ko na din... It's not that easy leeting go of something na napamahal na sa'yo... Like yung naunang german sheperd that he bought to me, masakit for me, kasi he brought the puppies at Pampanga, and yun namatay... Andun na ko, binayaran niya ako... But the effort that I gave, the love and time that I gave for the puppies that's my point... He once told me that he will bring the Japanese Spitz that I gave him 2 years ago at Pampanga... Ganun din daw yung mga puppies na bibilin niya sa kin... Okay na nga eh... Yung isa I brought it at Metrobank, G. Araneta - Quezon Ave. Branch. The Manager there is a friend of my Dad kasi, and he gave the puppy to her as a gift... The thought is... PARE-PAREHO LANG PALA FOR HIM ANG KULAY NG PERA... Bakit hanggang ngayon di niya pa ako binayaran sa aso na yun?

Second, kahit nakikita ko namakapal ang pera na hawak ng kapatid, ENVY or JEALOUSY never ever popped into my my mind... I know pinaghirapan ng kapatid ko yun sa company ng Dad ko... Alam ko malaki ang pakinabang ng Daddy ko sa kapatid ko. Kung anung meron ng kapatid ko, I'm happy for him. Bigyan niya ako or hindi, it doesn't matter.

I remember... If I am not mistaken April 19 this year... While we are at Pansol Laguna... Around 3:30 am I saw him talking to some women sa may comfort room... Then he blocked my way may be because he thought that I might confront the women and asked them why my Dad's talking to them... My Dad suddenly grabbed me by the arm ang gave me the tightest embrace ever... He whispered to me these words... " 'nak kapag nabenta ko yung Pajero natin, promise ko sa'yo - bibigyan kita ng 50,000..." I remember, I told him "No. I don't need that... Usapang lasing 'to, I know bukas nakalimutan mo na 'to" He told me, "Hindi, 'nak... pangako yan... Tapos, hintayin mo mabenta yung lupa natin sa Paco, bibigyan kita ng kalahating million, kaya lang baka ubusin mo na naman agad..." Simple lang sinagot ko sa kanya, "Yung huli mong binigay napunta sa pagpapagawa ko ng Barbershop, tapos yung iba pinaayos ko yung kwarto..." Sabi lang niya, "Oo nga pala no! Basta kapag nabents yung Pajero, wait ka lang..." Those was his last words for me... But right deep in my heart, I never expect... I know I might get hurt in return, mas masakit yung ganun...

So, I think a week ago, I was at my Dad's place nung mabenta yung Pajero. I was sitting next to him on the couch when he counted some bills from his pocket and gave it to my brother... But since I was in their middle, I grabbed the money... Sabi ko lang, pahawak naman... I count the money... Uy, 25k!!!" Then I gave it to my brother... No heart feelings, I know right then and there wala akong matatanggap from him... So we went home... I went hope empty-handed... It's fine with me... Okay lang naman lagi sa'kin eh... I am the type of person who doesn't know how to demand... Hindi ako mapag-hanap... Hindi din ako reklamador...

So last night, while I was having a cigarette after our late dinner, I was doing some thinkings... I was talking to my brother's wife, Karen... Here's what I thought... Pare-pareho naman pala ang kulay ng pera di ba? Sana nung nabenta niya yung Pajero ano ba namang inabutan niya ko ng pera na kulay UBE (100) or yung kulay PULA (50) or yung kulay ORANGE (20) or worst kahit sampung piso lang... Pare-pareho lang naman pala kulay ng pera eh... Gustong gusto kong umiyak... Di ko na kaya lahat ng sinabi niya... Ginatungan pa daw ni Mannique (his other woman) na "Tuta lang lang naman yun... Para tuta lang, bakit kailangan pang bayaran?" First, when I asked my brother to bring the puppies at his place... Di ko naman sinabi sa kapatid ko na kunin nya yung bayad para sa mga aso... Di ako naningil... I did not even text him, telling him na anjan na yung mga tuta pakipadala na lang kay RJ yung bayad! Wala yung ganung salita... Sobrang sakit! Parang dinudurog ako!

You know what? I have a lot in mind right now... There has been a lot of sacrifices on my side that I did for him... I did not have any side comments or what-so-ever... I kept quiet for a long time. I was 5 years old when he left our family... My Mom gave birth to my brother, 1984 when he started doing stuffs like that. Nagkaroon ako ng dalwang kapatid all on my father's side... The first one was Nica, my Dad doesn't know that I was secretly meeting the child and his Mom. i treated them out... Watched movies, ate out (Eastwood) and bought a lot of clothes and books for her... I know kasi kapatid ko sya. So I think - I have to do what all Ate's have to do for their younger sister... Before pa magdecide ang Dad ko na ipakilala sa kin yung bata, di niya alam, I am acquainted with them na... I've never been an "evil sister" I have never been mean. Instead minahal ko yung bata, even her Mom, Mannique... All of those, I am doing it not to get a good attitude or personality for others... I am not coming in clean for them... I am doing it for my Dad coz HIS HAPPINESS means A LOT TO ME...

When I was a child there are only 2 dreams I want to pursue... It's either to become a DOCTOR or a FLIGHT STEWARDEES... I graduated Bachelor of Science major in Psychology at Far Eastern University, Year 2000. I decided to take a break for a sem... October, I went back at my Dad's place and told him that I made up my mind, and I want to continue and take Medicine... He refused to. Gastos lang daw yun! Masakit! Ang dami niyang pera, it was his dream din naman for me... It has always been his reponsibility as father to provide things for his children. Pero lahat ng responsibilidad niya like sending me to school and napagraduate niya ako, lagi na lang niyang sinusumbat sa akin... Alam ko malaki ang utang na loob ko sa kanya, but it's his responsibility, it's his obligation as a father. So I end up frustrating... Ang yaman niya, I was never the type of daughter who gets what I want... I was never spoiled... I have never been a Daddy's Girl... So, I started up a small business... A playstation House... Then I sell Facial and Beauty Soaps, Longganizas, Loads and other stuffs... Got my first 100k on my savings account Year 2004... Bought my first cellphone when I was in college with my own money... Ngayon naka N70 na ako and not a single centavo came from him. Lahat, sariling sikip! I strived hard to get what I want in my life. To pamper myself. To give myself the things that I long waited for my Dad to give me - but he did not...

My dad made me stronger... From him I learned to hide what my real feeling are... I always have to smile and laugh on things eventhough it hurts... Ayaw na ayaw niya ng umiiyak kapag pinagsasabihan niya, so that's what I did... I learned to answer his accusations and different stuffs that we always argue with... Minsan nga pakiramdam ko... MANHID na ako... Kasi paulit-ulit lang naman yung nangyayari sa amin... Parang sirang plaka... But what I heard last night - that's what HIT me straight from the heart... Di ko na kaya! I swear... All my life, I wanted him to be proud of me... For him to be happy, pero lahat ng ginagawa ko, kulang para sa kanya... He don't know how to appreciate things... He doesn't know how to show love for the people who truly loves him...

With this blog, I was able to release all my pent up emotions... Sukdulan na... I can't take this anymore... I know he will never ever change... I just hope wag na nya hayaan na may mawala na malapit sa kanya just for him to realize things and do good for others...

Anyway, it's me Mats signing off... till my next update...

To my fellow VHs, I am missing you much... :)

pics attached:
-->>> 1st, New Year 2005
-->>> 2nd, My brother and my cousin's Bday August 2005
-->>> 3rd, my Dad with Viobeth (with a son, Ravio)
-->>> 4th, my Dad with Mannique (Nica's Mom)
-->>> 5th, Me, my brother RJ and Nica
-->>> 6th, Me and Ravio...

Adrian celebrates 19th birthday

HaPpY BiRtHdAy!

DAY NINETY-THREE
Adrian completes Special Task

To be eligible for the title PBBFG2 Big Winner, finalist Adrian who came in the vhouse as a replacement, has to win atleast 1 immunity challenge. *However, the last Immunity Challenge, "Guess which Teen Housemate/s will get the Highest Nomination Points", was cancelled due to Aldred's voluntary exit.

BBK gave Adrian a Special Task: to show a picture of him and his "sunshine" and give the story behind that picture.

Kuya, a pic iv'e chosen of me and my sunshine is the primary photo of this account. The one with the caption "me and my lola" and here's the story:

me and my sunshine were at Robinsons when I took that pic... It was when she was shopping for jeans and I was playing with her phone (yes, I actually go with her whenever she shops. Guys don't usually do that di ba? It's really boring though. hehehe)... That's my favorite pic of the both of us because that's the only pic of us where I looked good. hehehe unfortunately, that's her least favorite pic of ours coz she said she didn't look good coz it was candid and she said she looked like a lola... Hence the caption "me and my lola".

...and bbk, ***** pala ung name ng girlfriend ko... just dont post it. atin2x lng to. but puede mo rin i tell sa other vhs basta wag mo lang i post coz she dosen't know about this PBBFG thing and I'm just gonna tell her after the game. I don't want her seeing her name all over the blog. Hope u understand... THanx... Hey, missed u a little whyl there...were u BZ?

*sayang noh, if aldred din't quit, I would have won the immunity last week. Anyways, bbk, birthday ko ngayong Thursday. Regalo naman jan! hehehe:-)

Paolo blogs: PBBFG2 Big Four

I am glad and proud to be on PBBFG2's Big Four and cyempre sad din dahil malapit na matapos yung game...sana tumagal pa..pero ok lng kasi i met a lot of wonderful people.Here is what I think about the Big Four:



Adrian-i think he deserves to be here..kahit minsan lng cya mag-internet nagagawa pa rin nya na mag-update at mag paramdam khit minsan lng hindi tulad ko na laging busy...malapit na kasi graduation ko ;)

Ate Kathryn-i'm glad that my ate is here with me sa big4...i am glad that i met a new ate..and whoever wins doesn't really matter anymore...i love all of them at I am thankful nakilala ko sila lahat. :)

Ate Maristel-wow...am i surprised na nndto cya sa big4...she is the most active saamin at laging may update...sobrang sipag din magtxt..kaya love n love ko 2...i hope we could talk soon ;)

To Ex-VHs who made this game really really exciting and worth-going-online for...thanks for coming into my life...i love you all sooooo much...for me: win or lose... it doesn't matter anymore...alam ko panalo na ako dahil i have met a lot of wonderful people..and that includes BBK ;) Let's Have A Happy Few More Days Inside The House... :)

DAY NINETY-TWO
Kathryn's Ultimate Summer Outing Experience...

Friday night, April 28, 2006:
I'm supposed to be nursing my patients. Unfortunately, I was down with colds. I had to call the unit to tell them that I can't make it to duty. After a looong process, they let me go. My co-staff volunteered to cover for me by going on a 16-hour duty. Thanks, Ma'am Raiz!

When my in-laws found out about it, they immediately decided that we'll be leaving for Ilocos at 3am the following day! Whew! So much for a poor nurse who's ill, huh? So my hubby and I headed to bed at around 10pm and went to sleep... after watching FRIENDS! Hihi, my co-addicts, I've just finish Season 6! How's that! After a lightyear, I finally did finish it. =)

Saturday morning, April 29, 2006:
My cellphone alarm went off. It was time to get up and ready ourselves for the long journey to the North. So, after 5 minutes of hesitating, we pulled ourselves out of bed and went straight to the bathroom. Good thing we've already packed our things the night before. It saved us from the last-minute rush, which I really hate! I don't like the feeling of being in a hurry, lacking the time you need to finish what you're doing.

At about 4am, off we went to start the 14-hour road trip...

First Stop: Agoo Church-A magnificent church with so much story to tell. We stayed there for atleast 15 minutes.

Second Stop: San Fernando, La Union-We got there at about 12pm, just in time for lunch. We got our stomachs filled at Midtown Restaurant. They served good Ilocano pinakbet (pronounced as pi-nak-but! hihi...). Even if my "bilas" was already craving for the famous 'bagnet' of the North, unfortunately, they don't serve it at Midtown.

After consuming the sumptuous meal, we went off again...

Third Stop: Sta. Maria Church-A world heritage site situated at the top of a boondock. It had a long stone stairway for the parishioners. The structure showed evidence of long existence, which demanded respect and admiration. Too bad, either by lack of budget or simply by not paying attention to preserving it, the interiors seem to have lost it's once magnificent appearance.

We had our merienda outside the church. Thank God we brought just enough food for the already 10-hour trip. Hmmm...

Finally, at around 5pm, we got to Vigan. And, as if to relieve us from exhaustion, we were greeted by friendly faces as we got into the main road. A throng of people was there watching the local Binatbatan Festival. That day was the kick-off of the week-long celebration of the town fiesta. We enjoyed seeing the local dance performed by a number of youth groups while chanting "Viva, Vigan!".

After seeing the parade, we headed our way to Padernal's ancestral house, our official resthouse for the next 2 days. =)

After unloading our things, we wen tout again, eager to see what becomed of Vigan at night. It was still full of life, with all those calesas around, P100/ride. Since it was already dinner time, we decided to literally dine out at Cafe Leona, a well-known restaurant in town. Finally, we got to taste the bagnet. It was no different from lechong kawali except that it was crunchier and is partnered with kamatis-with-bagoong isda. After dinner, we had our calesa tour around the city center. The cool breeze was relaxing, plus the amazing site!

To finally give our tired body a rest, we headed our way home at about 9pm. After a refreshing shower, I laid to bed and waited for my hubby who was having a 'basi' (local beer) with his brother-in-law. 10pm, we're already sound asleep...

Sunday, April 30, 2006:
We got up at 5am to prepare for the much-awaited Pagudpud trip! After bathing and eating breakfast, off we go with much anticipation. It was, I guess, the core of the outing since it's summer.

First Stop: Balayti Ili, Batac, Ilocos Norte-Home of the Marcoses. We got there at around 7am so the museum was still closed to visitors. We had to temporarily go and see other tourist spots while waiting for the opening hour of Balayti Ili.

Second Stop: Paoay Church-This magnificent structure has proven itself worthy to be recognized as yet another World Heritage Site. Its humongous facade is a symbol of the richness of Christian culture in the country.

After the picture-taking, we went back to Balayti Ili where, for the first time, I saw the wax of former President and tyran, Ferdinand Marcos. The house felt eerie. It smelled of an old rose.

We didn't stay long there. After buying some kalamay and chichacorn, we went off.

Third Stop: Bangui Church-It housed the miraculous Black Nazareth which was said to be found floating in a river/sea. We arrived there just in time for the mass. unfortunately, I only wore tank top and shorts (usual beach outfit) so I just stayed outside. my hubby was there to accompany me. We just ate the time off by visiting the Black Nazareth's site and circumferencing the church. As the first 2 churches we saw, it was also old.

After the mass, we drove off again and stopped by the Bangui town market to buy some food to eat at the beach.

Final Destination: Saud, Pagudpud-After an unsuccessful canvass of a resort, we went to 3 but they offered no vacant cottage, we finally arrived at Saud Beach Resort, one of the most expensive resorts. We thought it deserved to price high because of it's natural beauty. With numerous coconut trees inside of its compound, it welcomed is warmly, and summerly. =)

The cottage that they assigned to us though is already occupied by nomads so we had to find a vacant one. After settling ourselves, we had a good lunch and rested for a while. And then we plunged into the virgin beach. We took pictures. We bought souvenirs from roving locals. I saw two men doing henna tattooes. And because I haven't tried it before, I asked them to do one on the left side of my back. I chose a yin-yang design among those vast collection of theirs. And it was nicely done. 'Course, I had it taken a picture. But then I wasn't able to
let it air-dry for two hours as they told me. My hubby invited me to try snorkelin'. At first I was hesitant. I've always loved the sight of a beach, but definitely not its salty taste. But then when I got the taste of snorkeling, wow! It was a lot of fun. But, unfortunately, we had to pack up shortly 'coz we didn't want to leave the place late. Actually, much of the people have abandoned the place already, not wanting to drive off while the night is deep.

Yet, being hungry tourists as we were, we had our sidetrip again in another tourist destination, Fort Ilocandia. It was an elegant hotel where many opulent and powerful people go to unwind and relax. After touring the place, we went back to Vigan.

Third and final day, Monday, May 1, 2006:
Our 2 short days are over. After going back to the plaza to buy pasalubongs, we headed our way home, to Pasig.

10pm, we're finally home.

And we're back on earth. Back to reality. =)